1. Do my children know who they are and accept themselves?
2. Do my children use their natural gifts and trust them?
3. Are the things I think are important really important?
The goal of every parent should be to help a child develop a personality consistent with their true nature and natural movement, rather than one that contradicts it.
Say "I want to help you be happy being you" and "I love you just the way you are"
TYPE 1 : The Fun-Loving Child
Primary Connection to the world : Social
Primary Movement : Bouncy and random
Primary Need : To have fun and happy parents
May be described as : animated, fun, bright, light-hearted, friendly
May be negatively judged as : flighty, hyperactive, unreliable
- Let go of your anxiety in trying to shut down the endless ideas just because they overwhelm you. Appreciate all of them
- Try acknowledging and valuing your child's ideas as good and fun, they need not always turn into results
- Making little games out of ordinary tasks
- Take your child's thought process seriously and listen to what they have to say, no matter how scattered it may appear
- Invite your child to express their feelings before they build up and turn into explosive expressions
- Encourage emotional expression and be patient with any outbursts
- Appreciate the little things your child do everyday with the intent to put a smile on your face
- Never use disappointment or unhappiness to coerce or manipulate your child into behaviour that you want
- The tone of your voice matters (friendly, light-hearted)
- Let your child run and bounce at home
- Allow your child to create their own fun and express their natural profile
- Admire and acknowledge your child's excitement and enthusiasm with simple compliments
- If you get lost about what your child is talking about, don't bother to make them retrace their steps
- Facilitate opportunities for your child to interact with various people
- Understand that your child mind move so quickly that they actually get distracted by several things at a time
- Making things fun for your child along the way will attain the desired results easier
- Demanding and competitive sports can be too stressful for your child
- Remember your child likes newness, visual and hands-on learning over written instruction
- Remember that your child is naturally more right-brained (creative side)
- Create a very quiet environment if you want to child to fall asleep
- Do not tell your child to settle down and stop moving around, this is damaging and will alter their natural profile
- Don't demand that your child focus on one thing at a time, they won't
- Anything can be fun for your child, not necessary deliberately-created activities
- Your child is truly a joy, they are naturally happy and optimistic and forgive easily
- Encourage your child to embrace the power of their cuteness, and live true to themselves
Top 10 things your child needs from you!
1. Happiness
2. Freedom
3. Praise for their ideas and creativity
4. Encouragement to live true to who they are
5. Change
6. Time to have fun together and let your hair down
7. Laughter
8. Take them seriously
9. Don't sweat the small stuff
10. Avoid these phrases and judgments :
- settle down
- grow up
- you're too silly
- when are you going to become responsible?
- okay, that's enough fun
- everything doesn't have to be game
Type 1 children positive labels :
- Active
- Agreeable
- Animated
- Amusing
- Bouncy
- Bubbly
- Busy
- Charismatic
- Cheerful
- Cute
- Cute as a button
- Energetic
- Engaging
- Friendly
- Frolicking
- Fun-Loving
- Funny
- Happy
- Light-Hearted
- Likes to be the center of attention
- Little actor
- Little ray of sunshine
- Never sits still
- Outgoing
- Pixie
- Positive
- Random
- Smiley
- Social
- Social butterfly
- Smiles at everyone
- Talkative
Type 1 children negative labels :
- Attention deficit
- Daydreamer
- Flighty
- Hyperactive
- Idealist
- Irresponsible
- Lack of follow through
- Messy
- Mischievous
TYPE 2 : The Sensitive Child
Primary Connection to the World : Emotional
Primary Movement : Subtle and flowing
Primary Need : To have feelings honored and everyone in the family feel loved and connected
May be described as : tender, gentle, kind, thoughtful
May be negatively judged as : wimpy, shy, hyper-sensitive
- Do not stop your child asking questions
- Take time to plan for your child "specials" in life, they will feel loved, honored and special
- Give your child time to plan for what they want for occasions, you may provide a budget
- Reassure your child that they are not responsible for anyone's feelings
- Maintain a physical connection with your child throughout the years
- Reassure your child that their emotions are valid and they can take as much time to process and express those feelings as they need
- Help your child feel like they have a plan each day
- Give your child time to process how they feel about a new plan, sometimes new plans can feel jarring or disappointing for your child
- Your child is a worrier, allow for tears without negative judgment from you
- Planning together with your child will lower their anxiety level before any upcoming changes
- Encourage your child to share their feelings
- Use phrases like :
"How are you feeling?"
"Are you okay?"
"Do you need help?"
"Would you like to share something with me?"
Reassure your child with phrases like "Your feelings are important. You can feel whatever you are feeling and share your feelings with me at any time"
- Your child need comfortable moments and spaces to express their emotions to you
- Your child prefers comfortable conversations but may withdraw if it gets too heated. They tends to respond slower when asked a question because their thought process involves so many details
- When you see your child waiting quietly, pouting, whining, sulking or yelling, these are signs that they want something but they don't often understand that they can speak up and ask directly for what they need
- Use phrases like :
"Your needs are important"
"I want you to tell mommy or daddy what you want"
"Say what you need and I will hear you"
- Explain to your child that you are unable to relate to the world the same way they do unless your child tell you or share what they need or feel
- Your child may get frustrated when asked to repeat themselves as they assume they are not being listened to as attentively as they listen to others
- Your child naturally peace to the world but they need to feel it themselves first!
- Fairness is important to your child
- Allow your child chances to relax and spend quiet time alone or with you to recharge themselves
- Don't ever say the word "hurry" to your child, it will turn them into a turtle (set up a pattern of feeling they can never catch up)
- Your child may take longer time to do chores but they will do it with detail attention, if they don't feel overloaded
- Support your child in tackling only one task at a time
- Service oriented chores are high on your child priority list
- Your child may enjoy walking and hiking as it allow them to take in all the details of the world around them
- Your child likes gathering details and planning, and then creating
- Music, entertainment, swimming, karate, track or golf are stuff your child may enjoy. But before signing them up, provide your child enough details about what to expect and let them tell you how they feel about it
- Your child learn best from stories and examples. ie, 2+2 vs 2 barbies and my friend give me 2 barbies
Top 10 things your child needs from you!
1. Comfort
2. Reassurance
3. Validation for their feelings
4. Encouragement to live true to who they are
5. Answers to their questions
6. Time to be quiet and connect with you
7. Attention
8. To be heard
9. Don't sweat the small stuff
10. Avoid these phrases and judgments :
- hurry up
- you're too slow
- you're too quiet
- stop worrying so much
- don't be shy
- you're too picky
- you're a little awkward
- when will you finally finish?
Type 2 children positive labels :
- Agreeable
- Calm
- Careful
- Cautious
- Comforting
- Concern
- Cuddly
- Detailed
- Easy going
- Feels for others
- Gentle
- Graceful
- Kind
- Loving
- Low-key
- Pleasant
- Pleasing
- Quiet
- Relaxed
- Reserved
- Sensitive
- Soothing
- Subdued
- Sweet
- Tender hearted
- Thoughtful
Type 2 children negative labels :
- Crybaby
- Overly sensitive
- Pouty
- Shy
- Slow
- Timid
- Whiny
TYPE 3 : The Determined Child
Primary Connection to the World : Physical
Primary Movement : Push forward and determined
Primary Need : To be challenged and have new experiences with support of their parents
May be described as : strong, active, persistent, energetic
May be negatively judged as : pushy, loud, demanding, rambunctious
TYPE 4 : The More Serious Child
Primary Connection to the World : Intellectual
Primary Movement : Straightforward and exact
Primary Need : To be respected by their parents and family members and respect them in return
May be described as : thorough, efficient, responsible, analytical
May be negatively judged as : critical, judgmental, know-it-all
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